Don't forget that the purpose of your discipline is for me to learn from you.

Don't be afraid to be firm with me; I prefer it.  It lets me know where I stand.

But don't use force with me.  That teaches me that power is all that counts and I will respond more readily by being led and taught.

And please don't be inconsistent.  That confuses me and makes me try harder to get away with everything I can.

Don't make me feel smaller than I am.  I may try to make up for it by behaving like a big shot.

And don't do things for me that I could do for myself.  It makes me feel like a baby and I may continue to put you in my service.

Please don't  correct me in front of people.  I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

Don't ever think it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me.  An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you.

And don't try to preach to me.  You'll be surprised how well I already know what's right and wrong.

Don't tax my honesty too much.  I am easily frightened into telling lies.

Don't make promises if you may not be able to keep them.  That'll discourage my trust in you.

Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins.  I have to learn to make mistakes without fearing that I am no good.

And don't nag.  If you nag, I shall have to protect myself  by appearing deaf.

Don't demand explanations for my wrong behavior because I usually, really don't know why I did it.

Don't forget that I can't thrive without lots of understanding and encouragement.  I'll do almost anything for your approval.

And one thing more, Mom, Dad, remember I learned so much more from you as a model than as a critic.

Authored by Dr. James Davenport